stop saying sorry before you speak

What we see in coaching

One of the most common habits our coaches notice is the reflex apology. An accountant in Thrissur starts every question on the client call with "Sorry, sorry." A nurse in Muscat apologises before telling a doctor about a patient's change in condition. A team lead in Hyderabad says "Sorry, just adding" before the most useful point of the call.

None of them has done anything wrong. The apology is a habit, often learned from a culture of respect for seniors. But in English at work it has a side effect: it lowers the weight of whatever comes next, and listeners start to tune out before the point arrives.

The technique

Replace the apology with a signal. A signal tells people you are about to speak and roughly what kind of thing you will say. It is polite without being small.

"Quick question on the numbers. Is the March figure before or after tax?"

"One thought before we close. The client asked for weekly updates, not monthly."

If you really are interrupting someone, thank instead of apologising, and keep it short.

"Thanks for waiting. Can I add one point here?"

Notice the change in the room. People tend to look up when you say "one point". They tend to look away when you say "sorry".

Published by The Full Stop, the journal of Brightside English. Reviewed by a Brightside senior coach. Corrections: see our editorial standard.